From the season 7 simpsons episode "Summer of 4 Ft. 2"

Homer: "Hi... ummm... let me have some of those porno magazines... large box
of condoms... a couple of those panty shields... and some
illegal fireworks... and one of those disposable enemas. Ehhh... make it two."

Clerk: "My apologies, sir, but the sale of fireworks is prohibited in this
state and is punishable by a f...
[the last customer leaves]
Follow me."

The clerk shows Homer into his stockpile of fireworks.

Clerk: "Any red-blooded, flag-fearing American would love the M-320.
Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small
part of it."

Later, Marge goes through Homer's purchase.
Marge: "I don't know what you have
planned tonight, but count me out."

adam: fyi - if youre wondering what to get me for xmas, i just saw a commercial and you can get me a queen latifah walmart gift card
erica: cool. where should i send it to?
adam: queen latifah is awesome
adam: make sure you get me the one of her from "bringing down the house"
erica: i don't know... are these in every store
erica: i wodner if they're selling them in upstate ny
adam: it may be a niche market

i hated this movie (mission to mars)

adam: did you SEE mission to mars
adam: it was kinda like contact only they got eaten by red dust
adam: and there were somehow dinosaurs
adam: i dont remember how
evan: yes.
evan: yes i did
evan: it sucked.

On Ali's new ipod

adam: how full is yours
ali: not at all
ali: its got like 20gb left
adam: put some porn on it
ali: i tried
ali: its gotta be a particular movie fomrat

this article from the washington post is fucking ridiculous. it's about how a virginia city, in an effort to quash illegal immigration, redefined family so that only a certain number can inhabit a house.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/27/AR2005122701216.html

my favorite line? "Your nephew, under our law, is considered unrelated,"

umm...

From a friend's blog who I haven't spoken to in a few years (to be fair she did go to vietnam).

Saturday, December 24, 2005
Eh hem...

I'd like to make an official announcement, please.

I am getting married.

This is how I find out? I mean not that we're that close...but a blog? Weird.

serious blog slacking lately, sorry the holiday season got to me. will correct with a flurry of posts before i leave to go back to new mexico tomorrow morning.

adam

"To be nobody-but-yourself -- in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else--means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
- e. e. cummings

"America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free."
-President Andrew Shepard (Michael Douglas), "The American President"

http://www.americanrhetoric.com/MovieSpeeches/moviespeechtheamericanpresident.html

"Hope unbelieved is always considered nonsense. But hope believed is history in the process of being changed…Hope is believing in spite of the evidence and watching the evidence change. And hope is a sign of transformation."
- Jim Wallis

This is the coolest thing ever

BRUSSELS...WHAT WHAT!

Some of you may have heard scattered reports about the experience that was my rather amusing first trip onto Continental Europe to the wonderful city of *cough* Brussels, Belgium. I hadn't gotten around to updating everyone about it but my traveling comrade Grant did a wonderful picture/storyline of the entire trip that I could never do better so I'm just going to link you to that. ENJOY! A few pics below of Adam contemplating Brussels.

http://theulysses.blogspot.com/2005/02/summarizing-unsummarizable.html


Brussels stands in awe of me.

As the Brussels skyline emerges behind me, I gingerly contemplate the inherent beauty of it all.

The Tale of the Refrigerator of DEATH

Anyone remember Nickelodeon show "ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?" Well from my own travels in Ieper, Belgium I have my own tale of fear, tragedy, and ancient food storage pit from which there is no escape. Submitted for the approval of the midnight society...THE TALE OF THE REFRIGERATOR OF DEATH!!!

It all began on a fairly normal and mild-mannered class trip to tour historic Ieper, Belgium. A midnight tour of the town's ancient defense fortificaitons led us here...to an ancient food storage pit. Little did we know it would turn out to be the storage pit...of our nightmares.


This is the doorway to the Refrigerator of Death. It looks ominous doesn't it?

We approached the entrance to the old pit that had once been used as a food storage site in ye olde times. Our guide fiddled with a switch at the entrance. Drat. It seems the lights were out. No seeing the it in the midnight darkness.


Getting closer and looking at it confirms, it's a fucking spooky doorway to evil.

That's the point where any normal and sane group of kids would've turned back. The guide let us know it was about 10 meters deep aka 30 feet down in the dark abyss from which there seemed no possible return. But then those truly committed to the thought process doesn't describe us. Evan realized he had a flashlight on his cell phone, a feature that, incidentally, he never thought he would find a use for. But its day had come.


This is the 25 ft stairway that descends into the darkness that was the Refrigerator of Death. Please note that while it doesn't look so bad from here it was 100% dark save for the minimal amount of illumination provided by the flashlight built into Evan's cell phone.

Despite repeated warnings about the dangers of descending into the ancient pit of eternal no return, we ignored him as only a collection of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of American education can and embarked on a descent into the unknown armed only the with mini-LED flashlight on Evan's cell phone.

It was dark. Really fucking dark. As in...there was no light. None whatsoever. Save the scare illumination of the Nokia. We immediatly encountered a staircase that sharply curved and led us down. Down. Down.


Evan handling the situation of stiffling, crippling, panic inducing darkness with grace and aplomb. Actually he was holding our only flashlight to his face and making ghost faces.

And then someone got the genius fucking idea of taking pictures to see what was in the room. Which would've been a good idea had we NOT BEEN CLIMBING DOWN THE STAIRS IN THE DARK. Nothing ruins night-vision like multiple flashes from a digital camera.


Greg looking cofused in the Refrigerator of Death.

So there were, at the bottom of the Refrigerator of Death. It didn't really do anything. We took pictures of us down there, which seemed cool at the time since we had the adreneline flowing from giving common sense the finger. But in retrospect...it just kind of looks like a hole.


Screw it. When in Rome...or the refrigerator of death...take pictures!

So we took more pictures. More then we had any right or business too. And eventually we left.


Pamela. Grant. Pame-grant. Grant-ela. Whatever. Inseperable and hilarious. In the Refrigerator of Death.

Exiting the Refrigerator of Death.

We left via the same route we entered...and we never saw it again. But we all know it was moment that forever changed us. Wow this blog was pretty pointless except to showcase the fact clearly that both I, and my colleauges, are retarded.

BONCH

The History of A Continent Written in Blood...

I don't know much about World War I, it's always been treated as a forgotten war by American History, since we only showed up for the end of it. But here in Europe there is no war that rings louders then the tragic senselessness and inhumanity of the War to End All Wars. Almost every British family lost a relative in battles that becames black holes of death, sucking in millions of men to never be seen again. Our class tour of the massive WWI battlefield at Ieper was very moving and opened up a new world a lot of us had been unfamiliar with. My new camera allowed me to snap some amazing shots, so I'll let them speak for themselves.

Possibly the greatest photograph I have ever taken. It's from a WWI cemetery outside of Ieper, Belgium and is home to thousands of British casualties. I captured the engraved memorial, the large cross, and two roses between them against the background of a clear February day in Belgium.

What seems like an endless sea of Graves, row after row of tombstones that seemingly strech as far as the eye can see.

Even some of the unkown soldiers are memorialized with a tombstone.

Just a fraction of the price of war...

The toll taken on both sides, a shot from a German cemetary.

Simple wooden crosses mark the spot where upwards of 40 soldiers buried in a single plot.

Inside the British Memorial arch preparing for the Last Post ceremony.

With the last post buglers.

A restored WWI trench. It smelled like rank ass.

Fully equipped to storm No Man's Land with my iPod, Red North Face Gore-Tex, Livestrong, and my Red Sox hat. I would've made an awesome doughboy.

Professor Julian Potowski bravely leading the charge over the wall and into the killing fields.

Professor Potowski explaining his speciality, military discipline during WWI, this is the spot where deserters and others were executed.

A testament to the inhumanity of the war.

The Belgian City of...ok well it wasn't really a city and i forget it's name. But they all pretty much look the same and it was very nice.